I was talking with a friend earlier in the week and telling her how I used to compare myself to my Twin sister. She was naturally built that looked like and athlete. I was always secretly jealous of how she looked. We would stand in front of our mirror in the bathroom and have flex wars lol abs I started with to completely compare myself with her and then the shaming of my body because of my disability. I always wondered what it would be like to look like her or someone else that wasn’t me. I focused on my left side and ignores my right-side.
Shaming my body for what I thought it should look like not ever being happy with the way I looked. I couldn’t not even wear the same size shoe and had to wear a lift in my right because of my limp.
When I got married in 2012. I truly never struggled with weight. I just saw myself as normal side and weak side. But all the time I struggled with weight after taking some medication and thinking I can work it off spent all my time trying to get it off plus struggling with the chronic pain did not help that. I was defeated telling my body how disgusted I was with it,spoke death to it. In all of the things I did which at that time I did not realize how it truly affected my body.
BUT GOD! He has done such a work in helping me realize how much he made me to just thrive. Each time was a nudge to get me to realize he made me from his DNA and how much I never thought of him walking inside of me. Jeremiah 1:5 He already knew the plans he had for me. Joshua 1:9 he gave me the stubbornness Tenacious of strength and courage. Hebrews 10:39 We are not ones who shrink back. So when you feel the weight of the shame in your body remember he is at work chiseling you in a way that you might not see yet. In my obedience walking in the uncomfortable spaces. I now look at myself as WOW God look at how you change as I see myself as a STRONG TOWER even on days where I still struggle. It is a day to day when those thoughts creep in. When you activate the faith and your Temple it changes how you see yourself. You are working daily with God in how you make up your mind of your strategy. Truly simply moving your own feet can bring the healing you need just partnering with the one who CREATED YOU to find Peace with you so you too can be a Strong Tower for the Kingdom and hold the line with a community of brothers and sisters that speak with the mouthpiece of Jesus.
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